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Demo 2011

by Third and Lake

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1.
As I was watching myself, act like a kid again, near your presence. I could not understand, why you choose to be with me today. I’ve waited so long for you to make up your mind. Time is valuable, it’s not fair. Time is precious, we love and we cry, we hold hands and we die. Just think about it, and you’ll find your peace. Everyone was happy as you came along, To show us what life really was. Not planned to end it like this. ‘cause everything managed to disappear, Again and again and again and again. So you prefer to be alone, no one to make fun of you. Just so you know, life ain’t supposed to be like that. Eager to fight back, you let it happen. ‘cause listen to me, two years from now, you will regret everything. hope does not last forever. Theres nothing to see, move along. Come back, please! You were pretending to be dead, ignoring me. My feelings was so strong, and your picture is still hanging on my wall. Too bad it’s slowly cracking, alongside my poisoned heart. Everyone was happy as you came along, To show us what life really was. Not planned to end it like this, ‘cause everything managed to disappear, Again and again and again and again. I really miss your soft voice, and the times we were arguing. Your hands touching me. Loving you can never be enough, im terrified. Your soft voice suddenly disappered, im confused. What are you up to now? Do you miss us being together? Your love is fading away into darkness and destruction. Killing you was so easy, my plans came through. Why is love so fucking unpredictable? Birth, life, death. birth…life!
2.
You think you heard it all before, the same old smile, the same old pathetic lies. You think you heard it all before, with nowhere to go, you only have one path, only one way to go. So this is our home, this is our pride Where can I go to find some inner strenght inside I will not cry ‘cause its a sign of weakness. And you my love will not dare to try. But still im invisible, and still your with him. If I dont find a way, I will do something terrible. So you think you’ve heard all of this before? Your so lost, and ill be waiting forever. Im reaching out from the world I know, i‘m on the outside looking in with nothing to find comfort in. I can’t walk these roads, I can’t breathe this air can’t see a future in this broken home. But still im invisible, and still your with him If I dont find a way, I will do something terrible. So you think you’ve heard all of this before? Your so lost, and ill be waiting forever. I don’t wanna know, I don’t wanna see In a war against you, my chances are none. How stupid can I be, so blind not to see With blood on my hands, my life turned upside down And one day you will see, and one day you will know the truth behind my actions and everything I know. But still im invisible, and still your with him. If I dont find a way, I will do something terrible. So you think you’ve heard all of this before? Your so lost, and ill be waiting forever. I’m not letting go! Of the past and what I hoped it would be, of myself and everything in between. Of my life searching for something inside, of the thoughts that it’d be different this time.
3.
The sad and lonesome life that you possessed entered it’s final destination, Besides that there is nothing else. I opened my eyes I began to cry, for what reason? I don’t know. Maybe it was because how it all started and that was the only thing that mattered? Or am I sad and angry inside because I knew that I would never be a part of it? Suddenly, without no warning you where there. Was this meant to happen? With you showing up for a second time my life entered utopia Only it was not the same one as you read about in the dictionaries This one was mine, my personal version of it all. Five years from now I will be sitting in my chair and thinking about this day The day you, The day you showed up twice without any notice besides my own The same day nature revealed itself for greater cause. I won’t die for you empty handed, I won’t fade into nothingness. I can no longer seek for this justice, I can no longer face my regrets. Nothing, nothing, a failure to mankind. Nothing, nothing, a failure to mankind.
4.
My memories of you still remain, I would never forget. I could never forget, I regret. You were loved by everyone I know, you hated everyone you knew, Could I have stopped you from doing it? I demand an answer. Why did you leave me? Why did you leave me alone? What did I, What did I do to deserve this? The smell of flowers has occupied my mind, That’s my only good memory. You were so loved, you were so loved, I hope you’re having the time of your life. Are you awake? I can't sleep I can't sleep. I woke up just to find that you were gone, The dream is always the same, it’s annoying. Suffocating was not the privilege, and neither were you. Your love was the size of a rabbit hole. Deep, long and very small, in other words nonsense. I have no friends, I have no friends. The truth is, I have no friends. Nobody wants to know anything about my presence. I have nobody, I am nobody. Nobody to lose even if I had to choose, I would not choose you again. As I opened the door, bright lights struck me, and suddenly I realized I was alone with no one left in this world, no one left to lose. I had no one left to hurt. What other way to bring an end to mankind then to repeat the story over and over again, to the last breath. Knock, knock, the door opens. For the second time in my life I found myself devastated and weak, old thoughts surrounded me and I knew what I would have to do to survive. And it sure smelled good, like a field full of beautiful roses. If I could I would pick every single one. The terrible noises, the terrible noises. Why did you have to go? I’m standing on the other side of the road with my fingers crossed and my eyes wide shut. I just wanted to say goodbye, I wanted to tell you about the life we don’t have. The life I no longer have. It’s always the same, It’s always the same way.

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released August 12, 2011

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